Adventures of the charmingly odd

There Are Some Things Only You Can Forgive

After my last post about my abusive ex boyfriend in April Told Me to Write”, the overwhelming reaction was 100% positive and supportive. I was scared to death to make it public. Right before, I had been texting my 20 year old sister asking her if I was doing the wrong thing, if everyone would just say that I was a stupid girl, and that I deserved what I got for the choices I had made.

But not a single person reacted that way.

18,201 people saw my tweet and and 1,305 unique people read my post. That is enough. That was enough for fellow victims of his, ranging from abusive to be scammed out of money, reached out to me to share their story with me. Other professionals in his circle informed me that they have shared my story to their colleagues. And after 7 years I spoke to his ex wife for the first time.

If you remember from my previous post, I met Pietro Filipponi in July 2011 when I was 21 and he was 28. I knew he had an ex wife, but she told me that they were not divorced until 2 years into my “relationship” with him. That he had not done 99% of the things he had led me to believe about his previous life experiences.

She shared how that she was a strong, independent woman and yet even she had suffered from his constant mental abuse. When I emailed her, her first reply was that she had sincerely wished that I was reaching out to tell her that he was dead. From her story, I do not blame her.

Myself, however, I can finally breathe. It has been almost 4 years since I last saw him, and yet I’ve had countless nightmares about stalking me, using the FBI to hunt me down to kidnap and torture me. I would wake up at night, shaking, clinging to my boyfriend Steve out of desperation and relief. A weight and fear I ignored for so long, was let go after I spoke to his ex wife. It was a validation that Filipponi is a monster, but merely a spineless and powerless one. Filiponi was wrong every single time he told me I was worthless, because he was simply using his own lack of self worth and projecting it on me – and everyone around him.

I know he is reading this. He has not spoken out online since my post and I know he has seen this. He deserves to be tormented by the memories of all the people he has treated inhumanely. I don’t think a sociopath can change.

I don’t believe in God, but I do believe in the foundation of support my new friends that I have made. I believe in the #MeToo and #TimesUp movement, not for being a trend but a safe space for the rest of us to speak out.

If you are reading this, stay away from Pietro Filiponi, age 35, currently living in New York City. If what I went through can be saved from being meaningless; let this story be heard and save other young women from him.

I have said my peace, and tonight I will sleep without terror.

2 Responses to “There Are Some Things Only You Can Forgive”

  1. Nathan Schulz says:

    I wish you the sweetest of dreams. In the home you built. In the peace you made. In the life you deserve. Very proud of you, Zoe. 🙂

  2. Hi Elijah,

    Yes I did speak with his ex wife about that particular matter and although he was physically abusive towards them, he did not molest them.

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